20 days and counting to Christmas…Peace… Really???
At the beginning of the weekend, the fact that there was 20 days left to Christmas would have provoked anxiety but today at the end of my weekend I have a much more peaceful perspective. The second week of Advent is focused on peace. Sometimes I really don’t like when God is trying to teach me a lesson. All weekend I have had such anxiety about the lab I have to teach tomorrow to the point that I was stressed out with everybody. I had yet again lost sight of hope and was in a state of fear yet again. Today at church, our pastor Brian talked about how he was glad that as non traditional as our church is he was glad that we are taking time to ponder the season of advent. So today peace was the sermon. During the sermon, I kept saying to myself Lord I need peace… me … me … ME.. Lord I need peace!! I felt like a little kid who is sitting in class and all they want is the teacher to call on them because they wanted to ask a question with great urgency. As the service came to a close all I could think about is how to find peace in the midst of the anxiety I was experiencing. So I transitioned to teaching Sunday school, answering crocheting questions, trying to squeeze in some fellowship, trying to take care of Cait in between services and then trying to make sure that she didn’t drive the nursery helpers crazy because she was sooooo ready for a nap. After hitting my limit, I scooped up little Cait so ready for a nap and we grabbed Mark and headed home… As we talked in the car I kept thinking about tomorrow… aghhhh. I fell asleep in the car and had a bit of peace that came over me but still I longed for more. I came home and fed Cait lunch and then she went down for a nap… ahhhh a little more peace. I took out my crochet hook and started to crochet a cowl I am working on. As I neared my plan end to my happy stitching time the phone rang. My sweet friend Allison who is trying to balance life and find peace like myself called. It was calming just to hear her speak. Then the person who was suppose to help me prep for tomorrow canceled… Good bye peace. So then I started to practice on Mark and I lost it feeling ill prepared. So I paused tried to compose myself and said peace ok peace lets see … Lord help me to organize my short period of time to prepare tomorrow…. God answered and started to reveal to me HIS plan for peace. So we got dinner from Whole Foods, brought Cait to my mother in laws and after a trip to Starbucks peace started to return. I came home ordered my studying and the anxiety started to leave again. So you maybe thinking, wow she struggles with peace all the time. My answer to you is yes I struggle with peace but I need to look to HIM the Prince of Peace to help me order my steps and my thoughts.